hello and happy new year it’s january 1st 1pm

i’ve got merlin here

for the first time in living memory i went to see the london fireworks last night from lambeth bridge with a woman called louisa

didn’t have tickets that’s why we went to lambeth bridge

and it was all right but it was literally just walking to see the fireworks and then traveling home

and that wasn’t any good because i was alone for all of it really

even more on the bus coming home everyone was happy and couples and happy new year

the one person came up to me and said happy new year

everyone else apparently from what i noticed

so that’s it another crap start to the new year i don’t know what all the um

excitement about when we’ve got these three cats and them t flat

surrounded by people with broken promises

i don’t know i don’t feel like carrying on

taking my little baby down here keeps me going didn’t you

what’s the point

all i hear is broken promises maybes if this if that

i waste so much time and money just trying to find a friend someone i can actually rely on that doesn’t let me down

someone who doesn’t have to message first before i get a message back

someone that actually cares about me

i am of the opinion january 1st 2020 1302 that that person for me doesn’t exist so i’m gonna stop looking it’s just gonna be me and the three cats because they never let me down

they look after me as well especially you merely

everyone else can

just go away i’m fed up a bit there

i’ve been hurt so many times let down abandoned

everything’s all last minute

i normally have to bribe people

if i don’t pay for the night out then no one comes out with me which is why i’m broke all the time each either a series of first dates or just trying to keep someone’s friendship that i’ve found just by buying dinner buying drinks buying things they don’t want or need

i have to buy my friendship because no one wants me otherwise and those dudes that do stick around don’t really appreciate my form of honesty so stuff it

i’ve had enough i’ve tried my best

anyway instead of me sitting here moaning at you and long pauses i might as well end it the heating went off last night for a bit my neighbour told me about that but it did come on eventually so they came out and prepared the communal boy yeah

what else

i’ve had pasta again for lunch let’s finish the pesto off

i have nothing for breakfast apart from biscuits because i’ve got no food in

and i suppose i’ll be having sausage casserole and mash

for um dinner again

right that’s it i’m gonna end the video there thanks for watching you