hello and happy new year it’s january 1st 1pm
i’ve got merlin here
for the first time in living memory i went to see the london fireworks last night from lambeth bridge with a woman called louisa
didn’t have tickets that’s why we went to lambeth bridge
and it was all right but it was literally just walking to see the fireworks and then traveling home
and that wasn’t any good because i was alone for all of it really
even more on the bus coming home everyone was happy and couples and happy new year
the one person came up to me and said happy new year
everyone else apparently from what i noticed
so that’s it another crap start to the new year i don’t know what all the um
excitement about when we’ve got these three cats and them t flat
surrounded by people with broken promises
i don’t know i don’t feel like carrying on
taking my little baby down here keeps me going didn’t you
what’s the point
all i hear is broken promises maybes if this if that
i waste so much time and money just trying to find a friend someone i can actually rely on that doesn’t let me down
someone who doesn’t have to message first before i get a message back
someone that actually cares about me
i am of the opinion january 1st 2020 1302 that that person for me doesn’t exist so i’m gonna stop looking it’s just gonna be me and the three cats because they never let me down
they look after me as well especially you merely
everyone else can
just go away i’m fed up a bit there
i’ve been hurt so many times let down abandoned
everything’s all last minute
i normally have to bribe people
if i don’t pay for the night out then no one comes out with me which is why i’m broke all the time each either a series of first dates or just trying to keep someone’s friendship that i’ve found just by buying dinner buying drinks buying things they don’t want or need
i have to buy my friendship because no one wants me otherwise and those dudes that do stick around don’t really appreciate my form of honesty so stuff it
i’ve had enough i’ve tried my best
anyway instead of me sitting here moaning at you and long pauses i might as well end it the heating went off last night for a bit my neighbour told me about that but it did come on eventually so they came out and prepared the communal boy yeah
what else
i’ve had pasta again for lunch let’s finish the pesto off
i have nothing for breakfast apart from biscuits because i’ve got no food in
and i suppose i’ll be having sausage casserole and mash
for um dinner again
right that’s it i’m gonna end the video there thanks for watching you
