Mental Health | Autism | Religion | Current Affairs | Comment

The World From An Autistic Viewpoint

13 Jun 2020

hello saturday the 13th of june 2020 15 35 that’s 3 35 p.m

well just after oh what a day you coming up kathy come on caspy come on

what a day

all i had to do today was because i did the floors yesterday finally after the rubbish was taken

mental health condition minus three by the way it’s improved slightly but i’m still anxiety level is through the roof still and today hasn’t helped um i got up because i had to call the pharmacy because i hadn’t delivered my drugs today or yesterday like they said there was a major complaint going in for that like i keep saying people if you can’t do it i’d rather you say you can’t do it no oh thursday or friday hello caspian you’re gonna walk across daddy yes you are yeah i’ll quit no oh sorry anyway um tried to pharmacy three or four times and they’d pick the phone up and hang up so i thought call nhs 111 called them 40 minutes on the line pass from one person to another um they asked is you know they tried the local pharmacy opposite them bono or bono or whatever they call it um and they said now considering i’ve just phoned nhs up to say i can’t get my medication and it hasn’t been delivered maybe she forgot they said yes they’ve got your medication but one it’s not going to be in a dossier box which doesn’t really help and two i’d have to go and pick it up well i wouldn’t be rigging if i could go and pick it up okay so then they tried the royal voluntary service and they contacted them and they got back to me and they said no they can’t help either

so then they said they’ll get a gp a local gp or a gp to call me

well they hung up their call ended um

then i started calling all the shots i could in the area next door and the only one that had anyone available was the local estate agent but the woman that answered was the only one there and i wouldn’t expect her to leave the premises abandoned so i couldn’t get any help there

then i had a little think and this is without breakfast remember i’ve woken up and started this within about four minutes i’ve literally just started having a coffee then oh gasping

i thought about the groups on facebook and there’s a hyams park group so i posted on that urgent you know i haven’t got my meds it was both been delivered from well pharmacy yesterday and they haven’t come and i can’t get out by myself and the admin picked you up straight away and posted it and within two minutes i had two offers of help one contacted me by dm straight away in fact three offers of help within three minutes because as i was posting a thank you to the first two a third one replied to it

so thankfully nice kind woman went pick me pills up and she’s even agreed to not for me occasionally just so i can get out the place a bit

because i’ve got a body camera i can always charge that up and use that for the bit coming in but i can’t get to the outdoors unless there’s someone there to reassure me when i get there i can’t just go out in case i get attacked or something i know it sounds bizarre but that’s the life i live that’s the life i’ve lived for a long time it’s just i’ve not been able to control it for three years now before of managing the situation i’ve always been like this i’ve hidden it from most people i even think i hid it from myself

so the medication came then i finished off a little bit of painting in the bedroom to finish the trunking off so it’s all blended in that looks lovely

then i had a delivery from amazon now i’ve just finished doing the cleaning by now it’s about one o’clock and i just bleached and then polished all the glossy surfaces in the living room it needed bleaching because it hadn’t been done in a while so it needed a proper clean so i could polish it properly and it does look a lot better now it’s clean so i’ve bleached and polished and then i’ll get a ring on the belt think because i’m at this point oh i can have a shower in a minute finally have a shower no amazon delivers six bits of litter tray freshener which is good now the cats are happy

and then i’ll get a ring from iceland the manager called me because they’re running early so they could deliver in the next half an hour so i said that’s fine i’m in all day half an hour comes and goes and i thought oh must be time to go and do the shower so i’m getting the shower ready

and then i get a phone call from the icelander over and this is after about 45 minutes at this time and he calls me to say have i got the right number are you and i tell him what number it is and he agrees he was at the right number and he said well i was ringing about 15-20 minutes ago and i couldn’t get no response and i said well i didn’t hear the bell ring

excuse me hey fever again i didn’t hear the bell ring

oh excuse me sorry

and he said well i’ll try again in about half an hour and he tried to get in half an hour and he says i’ve tried your number again and it’s still not ringing are you home i said yeah where are you and he described where he was and i looked at my living room window and there’s a gap between the two blocks of houses or two blocks flat in front of me that leads to the center of the estate and i said are you wearing a green top and dark blue shorts he said yeah i said i can see you you see the shed thing and i described him and waved to him and he realized what he’d done he’d gone to the wrong building so before he called i was actually ringing the couch to report a fault in the intercom not fully i didn’t think it should be but i tried it myself and it was dead so i thought oh maybe this is a thought

ah so he delivered a lot of the frozen stuff was thought why do delivery drivers do that they got a big load and they unpack it all first rather than ring to make sure it’s the right area so he unpacked it so it was outside for about five or ten minutes then he packed it back in the truck then he brought it around unpacked it and delivered it again i had to go down and let him in because i don’t have a buzzer that weren’t working or something just some people don’t press the button long enough so you can they press it and think that’s it there should be more instructions on it really but hey that’s the council for you they don’t want to listen to me

and yeah it’s people like me that improve the place because of our you know autistic people we see where systems are broken and let people know i even told people how to fix them but they don’t appreciate people telling them what they’re supposed to have known

anyway so i’ve got that i’ve just had a shower finally cut me hair

i’ve had a shave shower i feel clean finally pair of jeans needs to go in the bin because there’s a hole in the crotch so i might save those until i can get out shopping just for around the house

because i’ve got other pairs but i just you know it’d be all right for decorating something so now i’ve had the shower i’ve packed all the food away the ice cream was melted so i put it on fast freeze to bring it all back up to -18 again

lots of food lots of crisps not lots of bread the bread’s in the bread bin i couldn’t fit it in the fridge i’d normally keep it in the fridge so i’ve actually got so much frozen vegetables now that i need to go through my veg man i’ve got i need another freezer

so that’s just today i mean i can feel my t-zone really dry it’s sticky so i need to put some cream on my face because i’m not used to being clean my skin is all powdery i know it’s focusing on that but i need to find something to focus on i need to put like something there and focus on it so it’s the same distance anyway so what else has happened since the last update um i put all my rubbish out as i said to the council on thursday night for friday morning despite their toothless threats they remove the rubbish because they have to because i’ve got a piece of paper saying they have to remove the rubbish so i put the rubbish outside and they removed it about three in the afternoon but they didn’t clear the staircase which is a bit of a why did they clear the rubbish and not all the other items in the stairwell so because it’s down to the caretaker now the caretaker isn’t keeping the stairwells clean and this is the problem i’ve got with waltham forest council instead of instructing all the caretakers across all the estates to keep the stairwells clean

for some reason and it’s probably to do with protecting their staff

they’re not instructing they’re not instructing the caretakers to keep the stairwells clear not just clean clear or they are and it’s just been ignored the trouble is this is why i keep emailing martin ethan directly because they keep trying to point me back into this single point of contact aaron joseph don’t want to know unless they instruct me that i’ve been classed as victatious and explain why and explain how that is an infringement of my rights protected under the equalities act then i’m totally ignoring wolf and freud’s council

um they’ve got currently 26 days to reply to my i’ve gave them 28 days but they’ve got 26 days left to reply to my um reasonable adjustment request formal reasonable adjustment request i can’t have it answered by a junior because he didn’t answer it correctly and it needs someone in management to officially answer that question otherwise they might as well give it to the cleaner and tell them because this is what’s going on you’ve got a junior member of staff responding to an email i sent to the chief exec so that junior member staff is being instructed on what to say so if someone internally is telling this junior member of staff what to say what is stopping that person from telling me directly without going through the junior member of staff one it’s a waste of public money and two it’s a waste of everyone’s time this could all be resolved if people just spoke to me not via a third person that is totally unlawful in infringing my human and civil rights but also because my mental health is being affected by this and this could have been resolved 14 weeks ago now so as i keep saying to the council the longer it goes on the more i need explanation before someone resolves this why hasn’t anyone been involved before have they been dead and resurrected have they been off sick and only just come back to work in which case who wasn’t covering their job who’s been dealing with stuff like that and just not dealing with me i need explanations i’m entitled to explanations under the law

the trouble is councils up and down the land can treat anyone as fixatious and not actually inform you because all they have to do is put a letter in your file but i’ve already emailed on friday say no such letter has been received

so that should panic them now because if their justification for this when muscle is a contact eventually is that they’ve no they’ve notified me saying that i’m vexatious because i keep emailing lots and lots of people because i know what their argument will be i email people that are directly involved i housing and mental health teams the chairs of the scrutiny committees i think they need to be involved one of them has actually blocked me on the email list infringing my rights they can’t do that they can treat you as vexatious if they tell you but they can’t block your emails

and the trouble is they’re dealing with me i know they’re being blocked it’s on i think it’s on black spider if i remember the email system they’re using and it’s being blocked by that because i recognize what the black spider notifications are i’ve been on the other end putting the notifications on hello merlin merlin youtube youtube merlin you little monster

this is the secret of merlin come on come

little on i don’t know if you can see come on oh out of focus in focus come on

yeah you probably can’t see my little black cat he adopted me was it four years ago darling i think about four years ago he just walked into my place

after spending a few months just meeting me i’ve known him for ten years but he used to walk up near used to run up to me when i was coming back from work and walk over to the shops with me he was like a little puppy more than anything else and then one day after being fed on the doorstep for months and he wouldn’t come in he’d come in as far as the hallway and then go out quickly and then one day i gave him some food at the doorstep

and he sort of like looked at the food and then looked up at me and then looked down the hallway into the kitchen and he thought hmm and he just walked past me down the hallway into the kitchen stood facing the kitchen door from inside the kitchen and then looked at me at the front door as if saying come on bring the food in and he hasn’t left me alone since four years ago that was oh he’s such an angel he has kept me sane for the last four years

anyway what else is going on

discovered another few youtube channels on narrowboating sasha can’t remember the title name but the woman is called sasha and it sounds like she’s from the west country bristol somewhere around that area and it’s the most it’s similar to this but on a narrowboat it’s a direct piece to camera most of the time and it’s quite rambly but it’s my sort of rambling you know i could it was almost like i’m sitting there having a one-way conversation with her it is so nice to find someone else that does videos similar to mine except she’s probably a bit better looking than i maybe that’s just a bit biased but

so and she does oh she’s got a playlist of cereal that her and a friend of hers put together called the rusty cutlass oh it’s so comical it is you know one person doing all the parts apart from her friend doing the voice of little billy um and it is just so funny it really is

and dare i say raunchy she’s dressed up as a mermaid

okay but next live stream is on thursday so i’m gonna try and watch out for that one i’ve got her on facebook it is so down to earth though i mean i like cruising the car narrowboat experience and that and it’s all very well done very professional

and it’s nice it’s relaxing i mean i’ll watch narabo experience for the cat more than anything else if only cc had a cat he’d be almost perfect hmm

i think he’s more of a dog person anyway david on kruger in the car permanent um names of all the people who are watching youtube are on my about their on this channel i’ll try and get i’ll need to do it on the laptop really because i need to put links up to the top three or four but you could search and buy what’s in the about box then you will find them

not sure i mean big clive’s got half a million a million views i think subscribers i think he’s the biggest channel that i watch

the biggest you know amateur channel the semi professional channels that i watch as well curious droid and things like that that have got you know proper funding behind them apparently and proper sponsorship deals

but i do prefer the amateur style big client for example i mean he’s the one that got me interested back in electronics i’ve soldered my first clock together oh and it didn’t take that long it does help and the instructions are in english it’s a bit weird that you have to i had to read the schematic to find out what the components were there wasn’t a component list which was a bit weird i’ve got it working i just haven’t got the leds working properly i need desolder and check all the solder bits on the bottom which is a bit of a pain i wish i put um sockets in there it didn’t come with sockets you sewed it correctly if i put sockets in then i could just take the leds off and then check it all but i think it’s a close fit but i’ll try reflowing all the solder putting more solder down and see if we can get working because it is working i think it’s just a connection to the things i might have cut because i got me snips through as well from china yesterday and i might have gone a bit over exuberant with trimming them down and i’ve literally shaved them right down to the circuit board so it’s flush it looks really good best bit of soldering that i’ve done because i didn’t realize you had to click the ends off you know i didn’t realize that when i was doing teletext decoder back in the 80s um so that’s working i’ve had my iceland delivery so i’ve got plenty of food now

i’ve got a friend coming round so you know thankfully i can’t have people right now because i’m single i can invite people right

so it’s just a matter of chilling out now i’ve got a small bottle of but well bailey’s it’s sort of like the iceland un-branded version of bailey’s but hey that’s chilling in the fridge because i like it cold and it’s not that strong 14 i thought i read on it i thought bailey’s was stronger than that or is it because they mix it with whiskey it suddenly i’ve suddenly caught on it’s normally mixed with something stronger anybody

you can tell i’m not a drinker that’s about the strongest drink i’ve had in a fortnight

anyway such is life anything else happening

oh yes i’ve sent

because my gp hasn’t called me back after five weeks and he said he would i called my gp on friday i think it was friday thursday or friday

and i’ve asked them to get my gp to write to me explaining what he hasn’t called back when he said he would they said he probably hasn’t called back because he’s written to the mental health team

and that explains why he hasn’t called back why

excuse me for living but i’ve got autism and everyone knows this since i got diagnosed with this because i have had this all my life it’s only nine years ago i got diagnosed that that is what i’ve got

and i thought oh well this is i mean thank you don for you know putting me through that and getting me assessed it has helped me mentally but it hasn’t helped me get any jew regards from other people some people have been cracking with it but when it comes to official bodies it’s nhs direct i only call you up back on a private number i said why did you call back on a private number i had i had the ambulance crew around there yesterday because i called an hs direct because i was going through you know i was going through it

or was it thursday i’m losing track of the days and they tried calling back because my my phone blocks private numbers because they give me panic attacks i don’t know i might have mentioned this before and it gives me panic attacks

so i don’t remember clicking teeth

couldn’t do this more you know chance toothbrush anyway so i described my problems i’ve had blood pressure at 175 of 101 on thursday so i called it nhs direct didn’t know what’s going on they said okay we’ll have to get a clinician to call you back i had 12 missed calls from blocked numbers which then turned out to be nhs direct well when the bloke called me back first time i explained to him that i don’t take private numbers and this bloke won the ambulance crew crew called him joseph i don’t know if that was his name i was having a laugh but he said i can’t talk to you on this number about your medical situation i need you to unblock your phone so we can call you and i said i can’t do that it gives me a panic attack

and he said well we are trying to call you mr gibbons because now otherwise we’ll have to call it an ambulance out and said well you call back on a non private number and you can call me and then he hung up

oh i hung up with the call ended somewhere anyway then the ambulance crew three-man job one woman and two men but three-person job rung on my belt so i let him in explained to him what was going on and i’ve got a bathroom full of rubbish it’s all been clipped now as i mentioned earlier i’ve got a bathroom full of rubbish and my mental health is being made deteriorated because of the council

and the fact that they don’t know how to handle people with autism bloody obvious and the fact that i measured my blood pressure and it was 175 over 101 and my doctor got worried last time i saw him when he was 86 and it should have been 81 or 96 and it should have been 91. either way it was a lot higher than when i saw me gp

so they were here and while they were here the bloke from nhs direct called me twice the first time i put them on speakerphone so the ambulance crew could hear and they advised me to hang up on him and i did because i’m a good boy i do what people tell me

well i do what reasonable people tell me

and then while i was talking to the ambassador he called back again two minutes after the first one and the ambulance crew took it that time one of the ambulance crew members they took it and then hung up and back so they’ve made a note of it put it on record blah blah blah so now i’m starting a campaign and i’m gonna have to do another video a short video so we can put it on the internet now i’m starting a campaign to get all private numbers removed that facility is outdated it shouldn’t be used at all anymore partly for the fact that it’s akin to blocking your face when you’re knocking on someone’s door like wearing a full face mask covering your appearance up

but mostly because of the qualities act and the rights under the human rights act you’re allowed to know who’s calling you

the only excuses i’ve been given in the last couple of weeks like the bloke from the nhs direct well we were called conversations so we can’t recall numbers or we can’t do it unless it’s a private number and that doesn’t make sense i can record anything on my phone and i often do i’ve even started telling people i’m recording that i’ve been telling them via email but all calls may be recorded for months now so they haven’t got an excuse the council are fully aware i will be recording their conversation and so is anyone else is that burning down there yeah so anyone else they know i’m going to be recording them so if i can do it on my little phone i’m sure a pbx can record calls as much as private or public and the fact is there’s always a bypass number

and my point is if there’s a bypass number just enable it for all outgoing calls

because you never know if someone’s going to have a panic attack you can’t assume you have been told of everyone that is going to have a panic attack because i get a private number and public bodies are not there to make people ill

hello again how many episodes hello again

um this is 54 i think if i’m right i’m losing track of all these diary entries anyway

nothing else is happening so i’m gonna try and chill for the rest of the night thankfully now i actually feel clean as well so until next time hopefully not until monday unless something really disastrous happens tomorrow i shall love you and leave you thank you for watching talk to you later