hello and welcome to another diary entry oh my tabs sorry it’s all a bit scruffy here because i’ve not sorted the new cover out and apart from which i’ve got caspy sleeping now i don’t want to disturb him um it’s

choose the the 21st of january 2020. on my diet still losing weight gradually i’m cutting down the amount of walking i’m doing because the weight is going down too slowly so it could be that i’m toning up rather than losing weight and i want to lose weight before i tone up if only just so i don’t get much impact damage on my knees and back otherwise i’ll end up causing more harm than good um what is happening saturday i meant to do this video on sunday but saturday um louisa never turned up she did turn up late apparently but because i wanted to go to the wetlands and they closed at four i left at 3 15. she turned up a few minutes after that apparently but then i did have a moan

because she’d already changed the time from two to three when i suggested one

and it just felt wrong that she changes it to three then sends me a text saying you know i’ll wait for you if you’re late suggesting to me that she would be early

anyway we had a talk about on sunday i was not in a mood to talk on saturday as those who know me know what i mean anyway i had to talk about on sunday and

there are things going on in the background that she didn’t want to tell me about but she did and it’s fine you know i was in the same situation as she is so in that respect i understand where she’s coming from so now she told me this is why i say with people i’d rather be open and honest then keep little secrets and i assume the worse

so that’s moving forward um she came around on monday in the end and i cooked dinner for her what was it is the meat pie that i’d arranged for saturday so she had a meat pie and i had some fish and steamed veg and mash i’m getting good at the steamed veg now i think i oversteam the cabbage though so i’m gonna have to work that one out

i might have to put the carrots and the potatoes in the bottom one because they’re harder and put the cabbage on later so it don’t steam too much but it’s getting it’s pretty easy with the steamer i’ve had it for like two years and i’ve hardly ever used it

um what else is going on i’ve cleaned the bike shut out today

i’ve sorted the bikes out i’ve taken the front wheel off the newer bike it still needs the gears doing and probably new tyres but i need to save some money up to sort that one out at the moment i’m struggling to stay out the overdraft so hopefully little by little in a couple of months time i’ll get the bike sorted because when i was using that big bike i was a lot more stable than i am on the little foldaway one although the foldaway one because it’s a lower gear is better exercise i bought the big one to join like a cycling club so i can go cycling with other people

because the gearing is better so i can keep up with them easier i did find when i was doing recycling last february march

um that it was a struggle to keep up with the woman that was teaching me

partly because i couldn’t really get fifth or sixth gear properly it was jumping all the time i’ve had that sorted since but partly because i wasn’t confident enough and the gearing on the small wheels is geared too low so it’s great for exercise but if you’re going on like some a lot of the journeys are like 20 30 miles so it would be good to get the big bike sorted

and then join a club to get out more

i mean i could even go like even locally would be easier on a bigger bike you can keep up with the traffic more i’d be more stable on the road but i do need to practice somewhere quiet i’m currently using the small bike to go around the play area and i was there for about 10 minutes and i did a third of a mile so it wasn’t going fast and there’s like four corners but really could do with somewhere like a large play area with a circuit around it nice flat circuit but i need gloves i need a helmet definitely need gloves though i don’t want to fall over and then suddenly rip my hands open like i did last year

so the shed’s all sorted i’ve put the christmas stuff in the shed i’ve swept it out arrange the boxes so there’s a bit more storage in there and the bike is easier to get in and out

so that’s all good so tomorrow i should be able to get on i should be able to get on the bike daily for an hour or so just to practice going round you know go anti-clockwise one moment and that clockwise necks just so i’ll get even wear on the tires

um because i remember my brother he had a light blue full deskull and he was always driving the same way to work and the same way back and he was getting wear on one side of the tyres because he was always taking the same journey okay that’s over a period of months but you know bike tires are smaller they get worn more so

anyway and i need to sort this out as well the sofa it’s annoying me since i’ve washed the cover i’ve just not bothered to actually put the cover on properly i didn’t find before but now it’s all a bit

anyway caspy still asleep tabs was here a moment ago oh he’s under the table again and merlin i believe is in the bedroom yeah he’s gotta be in the bedroom merlin’s doing some funny things as well lately he keeps walking into the kitchen and meowing at me and jumping on the side and never jumps on the side so i don’t know what’s going on with merlin

i’m trying to play with caspy more because i think he’s after attention ain’t your baby

um that’s today basically i’ve done about odor 3.4 miles and 7 600 steps today i’ve purposely kicked down today to give me legs a bit of rest and to see what happens with the weight so i’m on 16.0 stones at the moment hopefully it doesn’t go up tomorrow i’ve been good with the diet

um we’ll see

anyway until next time it’s not been very long i don’t think

nine minutes i’ve got on the clock

um i need to start i’ve done 25 videos or so now and i need to start uploading them now i’m gonna try and aim to do one a week maybe two a week but i want to keep a good 10 or 12 in hand so i don’t want to upload them too quickly so i’ve got about 25 i think so that’s one a fortnight for the rest of the year

so if i can just do two videos a week i can do weekly videos and keep a few in hand that is the plan um

the walking has toned me belly you can’t really see much but before this was all bursting out and it isn’t now it’s probably the way i’m sitting there we are see that um

just a matter of keep trying and um carry on really

uh i’ll see how things go anyway i’m gonna love you and leave you for another moment and i’ll speak to you again shortly thank you very much subscribe share like don’t like even if you find these videos boring then let me know let me know what you like about them or what you don’t like about i’m only really doing this to

not prove anything to anyone but it’s like an online diary for myself more than anyone else and i’m hoping people find it useful because i have asperger’s which is a form of autism and depression and anxiety

i’m hoping that other people can make use of this

i find this because there’s not many people can actually talk to in life i find it easier to open up to an empty camera than i do opening up people um

so yes if you want different content or more content then do let me know and i’ll change the format of the videos having said that this one probably isn’t going to be uploaded until after easter i reckon at this rate because it’s nearly february

and so you know with 20 odd videos in hand that’s like 20 weeks away four months away so we’re talking probably may when this is going to get uploaded april at the earliest


we’ll just wait and see anyway thanks for watching love you and leave you take care and i’ll speak to you soon