good afternoon

sunday the 24th of may 2020 20 past four in the afternoon

um hopefully you can see bathroom door is locked well closed no look on it i mean there should be but there isn’t

that’s another one of those things that i inherit from the previous term that the council didn’t check


still got six bags of rubbish i think now there’ll be another bag going in there tomorrow morning probably so about seven bags of rubbish that includes mostly used cattleya i’ve contacted nhs direct or wherever they call me now i don’t know um

they couldn’t really help me they wouldn’t do a full assessment and all i’ve got is a cough at the moment but i think i’m gradually coming down with ammonia boy isn’t it thanks to

it does feel like i’m on my own

six and a half billion people on this planet and i’m here by myself i must mention fox’s afloat i’ll put a comment on their um post yesterday they

can’t remember the bloke’s name but one of them a youtube channel by the way boxes as well fantastic channel great if you’re in the mood for it um great anyway but because of my mental state i can’t really concentrate for long but when i’m in a good frame of mind i love their channel sit down and watch it for hours i’ve watched their channel from literally video number one when they were planning their boat and building their boat things like that but i put a comment on their um youtube post last night and they favorited or loved my post and it was all about mental health and not being alone hopefully this sort of thing helps people in similar situations

and i think it’s the first time someone from a youtube channel has actually responded to a poster by i think not that i post very often anyway and when i got my name read out on big clive last night which was you know i was on tv not just by this by my own hand by someone else i got mentioned another great channel i’ll link both the channels below

um but yeah that really made me feel good that someone actually liked what i said


concentration is appalling my head is spinning with i wonder what’s going to happen on tuesday because as i predicted as me and mary predicted on friday nothing’s going to happen until tuesday despite karen bellamy saying well what who told you tuesday no one gets back to you no one can get back to me anyway now because i’ve turned my phone off it’s just an internet device now i’m only turning the mobile services on when i need to make a call and that’s very seldom i don’t need to make call very often

the last time i turned it on was just briefly last night i had a quick chat to mary

but mostly i turned it on to send a message to the kobe 19 group because they came around to on saturday i think i said this in yesterday’s video and it really panicked me because i weren’t expecting them to today something

um i’m sticking to the cat’s diet i gave them instead of chucking bags and bags of little treats at them i’m giving them a handful each not every day but when i give them treats it will be a handful um each because the first day i gave them a packet between the three of them and that should have lasted two three days so just a handful small handful of that there goes one of those dogs that shouldn’t be on the estate that the capital doesn’t think exists

um i’ve got the uploads going again i’ve got a backlog of videos again about eight to edit and put up i say eight because there was two days where there was two or three parts to it so it’s only about four or five days so i’ve got two of them up already i’m just preparing a third one and then i’ll go on to the multiple so they there’s only two more days left really but there’s five more videos um but as i say these are purposefully going out delayed because i don’t want people to see these videos and respond to them i want these videos to be a record a historical record of how i’ve been treated and how that’s made me feel

um i used to do it both for my own mental health and to get attention i’m not doing it though anymore i don’t want people to give me attention because i’ve made a complaint on youtube i’m using this to record exactly what happens and at the moment

apart from duncan angus i went mary i can’t really honestly say that anyone has done anything i’ve had no evidence of any communication between either karen or duncan smith with anyone at the council i’ve put an foi in for copies of the communications from ian duncan smith’s office just to see what they have actually done and what the response has been because either they are doing something and they’re getting ignored in which case they’re not doing anything if they’re getting ignored they should be following up on it or they’re not doing something and lying to me

and i don’t know currently it doesn’t feel like anyone’s doing anything i’m trying to stop annoying mary because i use her as my main crutch and it’s not fair you know we have not been together for thank you caspy now you see what maybe the tripod thank you jaspy not been with her for four years i think and yet she’s been the only one really helping me

i won’t accept any more charity help

because it’s not up to charity or police or anything i see as a housing issue i don’t know how many times i have to say this and everyone keeps saying everyone keeps saying oh you’re not going to get anywhere it’s housing uh why how’s it going above the law they’ve made a contract i expect him to stick to it otherwise throw everyone’s tenancy out the way and then scrap all the rents as well because without attendance agreement you’ve got no right to collect any rent and if you’re not upholding your side of the agreement why should you charge anyone for rent

i mean you’re paying rent not only just to have four walls and a door which i haven’t got by the way because the council can’t guarantee the communal door is gonna be shut

so it’s not only just for somewhere to live it’s also

for services provided and if they’re not providing services or you’re having to go become sick because of the lack of customer service then i’m sorry they are in breach of contract

so i don’t know i’m sitting here waiting for the daily briefing the sunday one which should have been at four but it’s now five because dominic cummings you’re gonna watch this in the future and think dominic who

he’s in the news all over the place that’s all they’re talking about today and yesterday and day four on whether he’s breached lockdown like i said on a tweet to lbc last night when they were talking about on the radio then it isn’t about whether anyone in government or as part of the government because he’s not an mp he’s like

it’s not about anyone breaking the rules or the law it’s about what they seem to be doing are they seen to be upholding the spirit of the law that’s what people in charge need to do they need to be whiter than white martin bell springs to mind he was sent into was it tatum to clean up politics in the area because of alleged corruption i can’t remember exactly i thought it was tapped it might be somewhere else


it is

we have to trust people in charge and people in charge must be seen to be trustworthy and trying to find loopholes or excuses or reasons not to follow instructions is not what you expect from someone in charge you expect them to do what they expect you to do so if everyone’s locked down and you’re not supposed to travel more than a mile which is what the instructions were when boris johnson first put these lock down wrongs in place they had guidance that come out and the guidance notes actually said not to leave your home or travel further than a mile to get shopping or exercise i think london to durham is a little bit more than a mile i think it’s about 260 times more than a mile so yes it was against lockdown rules and advice now i don’t see me being autistic don’t see the grain i just see did he do it in consideration what they was asking the country to do or did you just just ignore it and to me he’d ignored it he doesn’t say because the way it comes across as he was ill and his wife was ill so he went to his wife with his four-year-old child

and then they locked themselves down in a house adjacent to their parents that’s just why has how do they get a house adjacent to their parents first

i mean is it his house has he got a second home up there what is this house adjacent to their parents and at the end of the day as they pointed out on bbc news just a moment ago

the child didn’t need any child care and all the only additional service that this advisor had was meals apparently or food being delivered and left at the doorstep well any kobe 19 group in london could have done that for him and i’m sure there would have been people down here that could look after the child even if the whole family is in the northeast i’m sure there must have been people that could look after the child if he got ill we do have a social services structure or our is social services no good for people in charge it’s all right for us commoners but for people in charge all know mustn’t put our children in social care no

so unfortunately i don’t see there is any excuse for all this you know he should go and you know the irony or the pathetic thing we’ve had two days of conservative ministers and members of parliament supporting him not being told quit being forced to quit and if as i think will happen he goes we’ll have all the same tory ministers coming out saying well yes we didn’t agree with what he did and you know it was all rather unfortunate

so they’ll spin it either way if he stays they’ll spin it to say he was a good boy and if he goes they’ll spend say well he did his best but it wasn’t good enough i don’t know

onwards and upwards i’ve had oh i treated myself at three in the morning last night because i was feeling depressed and the annual can get out of expression normally to buy things so i’d look on ebay and because i’ve been watching a lot of big client and i used to have an interest in electronics i’ve bought a new soldering iron because the one i’ve got doesn’t really heat up very much so i’ve got a pro soldering iron all cheap stuff out of china so it’s not coming for a couple of weeks so um soldering iron an electronics hobbyist kit with a power supply module i’ve never seen one of those before but it looks like it’s usb power supply module plug it in and you’ve got feeds coming off it with a you know prototyping board and component

and i also ordered a kit to practice on a digital clock kit i think it is another cheapie out of china just to test the soldier in and see if my soldering skill because i used to be good at soldering sort of but having watched me dad and big clive and various other people do something on tv i just want to get back into it it will give me distraction during the day rather than oh rather than sitting watching youtube and i’ve been watching stuff i’ve watched at least twice before sometimes so

i think that’s about it when did i start this i can’t remember about 15 minutes i think it’s been so far um i’ve got the fan on in the bedroom

and that’s mainly it’s not to keep it cool because it’s only 24 degrees it’s mainly to blow the smell of the bathroom out so it doesn’t affect the cats merlin had brown trickly stuff coming out of his eye yesterday and i was quite concerned that he might have got an infection from the bin bags which is why i moved all the bean bags into the bathroom yesterday morning i’ve mopped and steamed the floor so the floors are sterile at least there are enough for the cats to eat off because sometimes they get biscuits and they eat them on the floor so that’s clean and i’m going to try and keep it clean but it’s not good not easy trying to stay clean when i can’t have a bath or a shower and the longest i can stay in the bathroom is about two minutes before it makes me to heave because of the smell of the rubbish

um bank quality monday tomorrow i don’t see that anything’s going to change next week i’ve got a hospital appointment which i can’t get to on thursday i think is so i might try and call them on thursday

um i can’t see the council doing anything because why should they it’s only affecting my health physically and mentally they’re sitting at home with beers in their garden and you know having a smoke and people ran i’ll guarantee people in the council if we really looked at them are totally obeying this lockdown i don’t think anyone in the borough is totally obeying the lockdown apart from you know the odd people like me that have been forced to stay in because they’re too scared to go out

i mean i would like to have visitors and people the only person that actually has well apart from mary who’s always offering to come around and help me but you know mary’s got her own issues anyway and i don’t keep calling her apart from mary lee is the only one that has actually offered to come around and you know help but because of lockdown because of how i am because of what’s going on i’ve actually blocked her and stopped to talking to me because like i said in one of the previous videos um i was talking to her one evening and she wouldn’t turn the tv off and it’s like where you talking to me are you watching telly and that is one of the biggest things that does wind me up if people say they’re talking to you but they want to do something else at the same time well to me they don’t want to talk to you you know call me when you’ve got when you can give me time not just in between clips of movies or move sound or whatever

so that’s my life in a nutshell really 53 years of

isolation and i think it gets to you after a while


it started when my mum died when i was six

in fact it started when i was diagnosed with epilepsy at the age of three because then all the cotton wool went up around me and i wasn’t allowed to do this and i wasn’t allowed to do that notes went to the schools and don’t let him climb rope ladders and things like that i wasn’t allowed to climb trees i wasn’t allowed to go picnics out with the school unless there was like medical facilities nearby all sorts of things my dad put on

i didn’t understand the world i still don’t

every time i asked a question i’ve got a slap from your dad while you’re asking questions stop asking questions

my sisters picked on me my brother ignored me more or less he didn’t really want anything to do with me and he was the best one of my siblings

can’t tell you what mom’s like because i don’t remember anything about her

i really don’t know really i mean a lot of this goes back to how i was treated as a kid and you know growing up at school and all that sort of stuff

but it doesn’t help the way i get treated by people that are supposed to be public servants oh my god

so tonight is looking at

i’m not eating right

i might check my sugar level in a moment because it’s feeling like it’s dropping

even though i’ve just had a

eggy asparagus hot dogs

it was all right but the asparagus was a reduced thing so it was the end of life asparagus so that was partially wrong anyway literally partially wrong but i still had to eat it because i got nothing else

um i don’t know

i’m going to say goodbye to you because i don’t think i’m going to do another update so thank you for watching sorry it’s been a bit dull and boring but hey that’s my life um

i just look forward to wednesday or thursday i don’t even expect anything to happen on tuesday but i reckon wednesday or thursday i like the police around here which watch that for a prediction this is going this is recording this is going up raw i’m not editing this this is going up raw all i do is click the end and the beginning off so it just starts with me not moving around in the room as you’ve seen in the last few videos the police should be around here wednesday afternoon i reckon

if the council are doing something the police will be around you wednesday afternoon because with me phone off no one can contact me and i’m not going to be very responsive to emails because i don’t check my phone anymore angry doorbell is off so they’re gonna have to get in and then knock on me door because i don’t see the point of having a doorbell on when i’m not expecting any deliveries for two weeks so i put it on when i’m expecting delivery

well like i say i’m trying to keep the place clean but it’s not easy when you don’t feel like cleaning yourself and you can’t even clean yourself but i’m really trying to keep the place clean for the cats more than me i don’t want them to get ill i mean all ready i know i am i’m being affected already by the ammonia coming out the bathroom every time i go to the bathroom i’m gagging and that’s when i open the window in the bathroom at the same time and i can’t leave the window open because then you get flies in there so you know there we go anyway thank you for watching hopefully i’ll survive till tomorrow and i’ll give you another update tomorrow like subscribe don’t forget fox is afloat and big clive i’ll put the links down below i might even put a card on if i can put a card on the end i don’t know i’ve not done all this bits and pieces but i might put links into their two sites because they’re the ones that kept me going for the last few weeks oh and the narrowboat experience as well

yeah it’s mainly those three um channels that have been keeping me going

and the humor i can see that no one else care in this fast that they call lockdown anyway thanks for watching speak to you