hello december 30th i think it’s another couple of days since the previous entry

um i’m still having sleeping problems but that’s minor so the day before new year’s eve christmas evening said and it looks like i’m at home again on me now


i might just forget about people

no one can rely on people keep saying they’re gonna call

i’ve had one offer from lita to come around

but i’ve been turning her down because she only wants to come around when she’s bored when no one else wants to sort of like do anything with that when i need someone around here there’s no one to come around so i’m pushing them all the way again

i don’t know what to do i’ve just been out got some shopping i’ve got some dinner on i made some casserole this morning sausage casserole at five in the morning so i’m warming that up and i’m doing some math with that

don’t know it’s turning into quite pathetic life really

i’ve got roughly about 10 people i’m talking to on whatsapp

but none that actually have any time to talk back it’s uh it’s a laugh that they call what’s up an instant messaging service when it doesn’t feel instant to me

it doesn’t get read straight away and it doesn’t get responded to straight away when it is red so it’s not an instant message it’s a offline messaging system i would call it the same with facebook messenger not instant

i’m giving up on everyone

i was going to go out i had a range to me um louisa someone i met last week she wanted to go out again this afternoon but i didn’t feel up to it i gave her the excuse that was busy i was doing i am cleaning but i’ve stopped for now i might do some hoovering that later i’ve got the living room and bedroom to do i’ve cleaned the bathroom and kitchen

but i just can’t face going out

so i don’t know i’ll be glad from christmas and then you’re over

anyway another short one today there’s nothing really going on

no excuse me um i went out last night to or yesterday afternoon do some shopping for someone over in marble arch i keep trying i’ll keep going to save made available marble arch because she’s just had a stomach operation and i she can’t lift anything and she’s got no one else so i went over and helped to do some shopping then i got lost on the way back

had some food in stratford just sort of like a snack more than anything else but i’ve had lunch today which first time in well as far as i can remember which isn’t far but it’s as far as i could remember um and i feel better for it i had my pills at 12 so i might start taking my pills at 12 rather than 9 or 10 in the morning it gives me those few hours leeway because i think what’s happening is i’m having my pills they’re making me feel drowsy again and i’m just wasting the morning again so i’m gonna have to get that format in a moment the one for the i can’t even remember her name the psychologist on friday

and need to fill that in i’m not sure how to fill it in but i’m sure i’ll just meander my way through it anyway that’s me for now i shall make an update tomorrow if well i’ll make an update tomorrow anyway it’s new year’s eve so i will give you an update anyway thanks for watching speak to you later