Diary DIary 2021

Diary – 11 Sep 2021 – That weekend feeling!

Diary - 11 Sep 2021
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hello

and thank you for coming back to another episode of my diary I just want to put some thoughts down on a Saturday night to let people know what weekends are like for me and people like me when I say people like me I mean people with no family very few friends and no children and that last bit is the important part because without children at my age which is 54 you don’t have circles with other children or other parents

and so

get overlooked at most times

and especially at weekends and bank holidays and easter and Christmas

it’s not always our fault that we’ve ended up with no children my story I’m I will tell my story one day but it’s full of tragedy child abuse

and bullying and intimidation

not exactly the best breeding ground for relationships

so

I mean I remember working when I was working, I used to dread weekends I used to count 60 hours from leaving work because that would be how long it would be before I would have anyone else to talk to

apart from maybe when I used to go shopping so

as I don’t work anymore

it’s

even more profound

because the week is fairly quiet for me anyway, but weekends are like a ghost town if it wasn’t for Mary my ex calling me

I wouldn’t know it was the weekend

it would be like a continuous single boring day

even when I get um Charlene coming around twice a week picking the rubbish up don’t really have much of a conversation with her she’s only here for about 20 seconds and then she’s gone again

I talk to my cats, but they don’t really have much of a conversation amongst them

there are online people that talk to me but

I don’t want text people

this is what the council don’t get I’m not reading their emails I haven’t read their emails for weeks now I can see the numbers piling up but I haven’t read them I want the council to call me to discuss things I don’t want to be told what to do I want to be spoken to like a normal human

I’ve done three sets of videos today that I’ve done over the last 24 hours and I’ve done subtitles I haven’t put them up on the website yet I’ll do that probably Sunday tomorrow as of well in 14 minutes time

and I’ll do that when I do the subtitles for this one and I’ll do the rest of them all altogether

I’ve had to redo this one because the microphone settings were a bit too low so I’ve had to redo it you know like I keep saying to other people online that have cat is an is a good one the presentation guru I have to really increase the volume on tv for her and if suddenly if you’re watching one of her videos at like one in the morning and suddenly an advert comes on then the advert is really loud so please if you are uploading videos to YouTube do a sound check make sure the volume is up the levels are right and then do your main recording I normally do that but I just couldn’t be bothered a moment ago and I it was only ten minutes I’ll read I’m redoing it um

I suppose I’ll keep this one short as well because I feel like I’m saying it all over again I am saying it all over again

but there we are I do wonder how many people there are out there like me

I do feel so sorry for because it’s not our fault that people don’t like us

no one befriends people like us

it’s just we come in handy occasionally

very occasionally in my book

I really don’t know what to say

the fact I’ve managed to work all this out is remarkable in my book

I will sit down and finish off me like I did a summary life story early this year

I’m going to have to pad that out a bit and do a proper life story all about child abuse and parents dying and siblings ignoring you I’ve been ignored by my brothers and sisters and then by friends and family and everyone’s got an excuse

I’ll give up I have tried my best to keep in touch with people and it’s like when they don’t really respond, or they don’t respond until they can spare you some time

then I really don’t feel motivated to talk to people and they say well you don’t talk to us so we won’t talk to you, oh grow up will you!

anyway, I suppose I better end it now keep looking away from the camera thinking what I’m going to say

at least there’s only Sunday left and I’m back to Monday and hip hooray I can look forward to maybe not having a visit from the postman again.

About Post Author

Billy Gibbons

An autistic man, who only thinks he's crazy. A former IT genius, now a campaigner for Mental Health rights and better public service standards for all.
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